Hey look, a cliche! Catch it! Read it!
by SachimiInHeaven
Summary: AU Songfic from Sakura's P.O.V. Emoboy is killed by the Weasel, and Sakura reflects. .... * cough* It's actually serious! I swear!


**Disclaimer:** I do not own the song 'Because of You' by Kelly Clarkson (or at least sung by Kelly Clarkson) and I don't own 'Naruto' either. Don't sue me. Pweese. 

**A/N: ** Perpendiculars: P.O.V Sakura, SasuSaku (albeit slightly onesided / ), AU (but not that much), and, ummm... it's a songfic. ((Be proud, Jen, I can already walk the walk and talk the talk like a fanfic pro! xD)) 

Other: Ummm... yeah... overly-drippy, angsty, self-righteous and generally horrible piece I put together under intense pressure from Jen who wants to convert me to Naruto fanficdom even though I've never even READ the damn thing (or seen the anime, for that matter. It's all based off what my insane friend babbles in my ear during lunch (that's you, Jen xD)). Why I chose the song? Because... OF YOU nah j/k 'cause it sends shivers down my spine and it just /fits, if you know what I mean. Neways. If you haven't already been scared off, read on.

_I will not make, the same mistakes that you did  
I will not let myself  
Cause my heart so much misery  
I will not break the way you did,  
You fell so hard_

You could have been so happy. So many people would have loved you, would have liked you and talked with you and let you into their lives. 

Hell, I should know.

I was one of them.

And if for one day, just one, you had let the vice of revenge loosen on your heart, maybe you would have seen that life is beautiful without anger or hate, and that people can make you happy instead of sad, and that instead of having to destroy the last of your kin you could build yourself a new family to replace the one you lost.

One day.

Now it's too late.

_  
I've learned the hard way  
To never let it get that far_

I learned the hard way, that's for sure. I lost the man I loved, saw him ripped apart by his own inner demons. You're dead. It's final. You're never coming back, never going to eat ramen with me as I laugh at Naruto's comments.

I will never let my feelings of revenge and anger grow into a terrible wall of misery, because I've seen you. In a strange, horrible, twisted way you showed me that I have to let go of my love just as you should have let go of your hate, before it became the thing which killed you. I have to let it go, and allow myself to live a life which I can be proud of. 

For you._  
_

_  
Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk_

But I'm working towards it. Someday, I'll overcome my tears, I'll stray, and that way I'll find someone to heal my heart. 

_  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

You were a lesson. I'll be cautious, that's for sure, but when the time comes to let loose and forget the past I'll do it, and that way I'll find someone to heal my heart.

_  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me_

I find it hard, but now I know what to do, and for your sake I'll do it. I'll roll along with my eyes closed yelling Wheee! because that was what you wanted to do. That way, I'll find someone to heal my heart.

_  
Because of you  
I am afraid_

But that strength you were looking for so ardently every day of your life, it doesn't come from facing people. It comes from facing yourself. I'll face myself.

I will overcome my fear._  
_

_  
I lose my way  
And it's not too long before you point it out_

_I cannot cry  
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes_

I was so naive. Every condescending word you spoke to me cut me down better than a kunai ever could. I bit my lip, I screamed inside, and sometimes I couldn't move for rage as you brushed me off yet again. But just one salty tear would only have led to more self-deception on your part; _she's weaker than me, and she's crying, crying must therefore be for those weaker than me and I must not be weak..._ I know now you were trying to convince yourself of your power and your courage, and I often find myself hoping that in some twisted way you wanted to see me succeed and not fail. I should have showed you that strength doesn't come from breaking down another person's defences, but from breaking down your own barriers.

_  
I'm forced to fake  
A smile, a laugh every day of my life_

I will fake them for as long as it takes for them to become real. Because they will become real; it's a matter of time._  
_

_  
My heart can't possibly break  
When it wasn't even whole to start with_

_  
Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid  
_

_  
I watched you die  
I heard you cry every night in your sleep_

That one night, when we were on a mission... Naruto was snoring and you, like always, had curled yourself up in the furthest corner of our leaking tent despite the cold. Your black bangs had fallen sideways across your face and that was the first thing I saw when I woke up in the middle of the night, gasping from some obscure nightmare; your pale skin slashed by dark hair as you whimpered like a child in the darkness of the tent. I tensed up; my entire being was frozen by that pitiful moan. I wanted to hold you and comfort you so badly, I thought I might break. 

I couldn't. 

The silvery beacon of Kakashi's hair was halo-like in the darkness and he was sitting upright, watching Sasuke with the same look of weary intentness worn by aging psychologists and and ambulance paramedics; that jaded look of someone who knows very well something awful is going to happen but can't do anything about it. Yes, Kakashi saw it too; the way you were tearing yourself apart. I glanced in his direction. He gave a slight, almost imperceptible nod. I extricated myself from my sleeping bag as quietly as I could, crawled over to where you were lying, and ever-so-gently cradled your head in my lap until your heaving sobs dried up and your breathing slowed.

That was at once the saddest and happiest night of my life. 

_  
I was so young  
You should have known better than to lean on me  
You never thought of anyone else  
You just saw your pain  
And now I cry in the middle of the night  
For the same damn thing  
_

_  
Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I try my hardest just to forget everything  
Because of you  
I don't know how to let anyone else in  
Because of you  
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty  
Because of you  
I am afraid  
_

_  
Because of you  
Because of you  
_


End file.
